The listings for the prestigious venue in Washington D.C. highlights a fun bilingual show and an ad-libbed Shakespeare company. Curiously missing from the public line-up is the upcoming FIFA World Cup draw, presumably because it is a strictly private event. Officials likely want to prevent any uninvited guests from gaining entry at what threatens to be an drawn-out, self-aggrandizing spectacle where well-paid luminaries will doubtlessly echo the well-worn platitude that "soccer brings together the world."
An A-List Line-Up
This glitzy ceremony is scheduled to be hosted by former model and TV host Heidi Klum alongside small-statured American standup comedian and actor Kevin Hart. Joining the celebrity roster will be gridiron star Eli Manning on welcoming details and actor Danny Ramirez as a roving reporter. Collectively, they will oversee a production that will undoubtedly have English football fans nostalgic for missing the halcyon, unpretentious days of former managers, Sir Bert Millichip, the old draw system and a reliable fabric pouch of wooden, numbered balls.
Set to last almost three long hours, the event will feature a lengthy playlist of lengthy speeches, overly sentimental video montages, scripted gags, celebrity guests, musical turns from acts with perhaps little shame or enormous tax bills, and then... finally, the actual World Cup draw.
Sporting Legends on Ceremony Detail
Among those helping to carrying out the ceremony? Basketball giant Shaquille O'Neal, hockey great Wayne Gretzky, football quarterback legend Tom Brady and MLB star Aaron Judge, all selecting balls under the watchful eye of ex-footballer Rio Ferdinand. Given the considerable, untapped reservoir of charisma exhibited by these veteran sporting legends, barring an armed snatch-squad storming the event, it's difficult to imagine what could potentially go wrong.
In reality, very little, if the insensitive justification of FIFA's well-documented World Cup exorbitant ticket pricing mounted by an obsequious spokesperson is any sort of indicator. When asked if tickets should be more affordable for non-millionaires, the response was vague. "I think we have to be aware of that and I think FIFA are definitely people that are aware of that," was the comment. "However, I think we can look at every sector, every area, we could have that discussion about things," he added. The implication seemed to be that high prices are justified when compared with other luxury goods.
The Football Business
With 42 nations already secured a place for next year's tournament and six more set to qualify, there will be a real air of excitement once the preliminaries conclude and the main draw gets under way. While fans across the globe wait with bated breath to see which three teams their own country will face in the initial phase, the suspense pales in comparison to that which precedes the reveal of the recipient of FIFA's inaugural peace prize for "people who help unite people in peace through steadfast dedication and notable actions." Given that the draw is in the US capital and the World Cup is mostly in the US, speculation about the recipient are widespread, even if the hints are apparent.
"I have no worries at the moment. I was in contact with the owner today. My relationship with him is rock solid really. I have a real transparent and frank relationship. So regarding my position in that sense I have absolutely no concerns whatsoever" – a statement from a coach whose side on a five-match losing streak, providing a classic remark likely to be revisited if/when changes occur in the future.
Fan Correspondence
- "Regarding the discussion of a possible club named Kevin... there is an exciting Brazilian winger named Kevin at Fulham who cost north of £30m. Perhaps Kevin could be persuaded to purchase a Highland League club and bestow his name on it."
- "Going to local games in the past, when the answer was 'Keith', the reply was: 'What, on his own?'"
- "I stopped reading after nine words. 'Comprised of'! What was the thought process? To comprise means to consist of. So to comprise of means to consist of of. The extra 'of' is as redundant as an extra official."
- "There is apprehension ahead of FIFA's World Cup draw: just what memorable tune will certain performers come up with if a certain individual refuses to leave the stage, thereby necessitating an encore?"
